Invasion of the Potato
by Little-Tomato-Girl
Summary: A normal day, South Italy got a phone call from his little brother...apparently a lone potato has invaded his house and like h*ll South Italy was going to allow something like that happen and not do something about it. Germany/Romano T for swears


Disclaimer: I own nothing!

A/N: Random story that came to my mind as I was searching for the potatoes my mom had just bought to cook them...if you are wondering they have yet to be found. DX

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><p>One day…A pretty normal fucking day like everyday…but well, that was until I got a call from a Veneziano I was confused like fuck and asked him what the hell he wanted.<p>

"Ve~ fratello! I think I left a potato at your house and it was a very special potato! Ve~ if you find it…please, please, please~ call me back!"

I felt like gagging and telling him to shut the fuck up…but…the words sunk in…Potato…in…my…house? I hung up the phone and threw like it had a fucking disease. It probably did dammit! Oh, god…someone in my fucking house is a fucking potato!

I quickly made sure my tomatoes were okay and told them never go near fucking potatoes….S-SHUT-UP! They needed a warning! Like hell was I going to let a damn potato taint my beautiful tomatoes! I growled as I went through all my drawers, cabinets, hell even my tomato sauce….nothing…Dammit…where could that fucking potato be?

I checked under my bed, under the couch, I checked fucking every for that damn potato! It was fucking playing with me wasn't it! ? I growled and surveyed the room waiting for it to just pop out of nowhere. Shut it…it could happen…fuck it's happen to Veneziano before, why would I be any different? !

I heard my phone ringing and slowly picked it up. "What?" I asked, still making sure that damn potato wasn't going to jump me from behind.

"Kon'nichiwa, Romano-San…This is Japan…Feliciano-San and I have searched his whole house and didn't find this 'important potato'…so…"

I hung up not wanting to hear anymore crap. The fucking potato was in my fucking house. But…where…where the fuck could it be hiding?

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><p>The Japanese man stared at the phone in confusion for a moment before walking into the room where a German was trying to calm a smaller Italian down. The Japanese man went up to the German and whispered, "Ludwig-san…It may just be me, but I do believe Romano-san might be in trouble."<p>

The German sighed, but nodded. "Feliciano…for the last time it's okay…it's not even harvest time yet...I'll just pick you another potato when it's time." The German said as if he was explaining to a child that he had to wait for dinner to eat his pasta; which he kind of did a lot. "I have to go…some business came up…We'll talk later."

The Italian nodded trying to dry his tears, but failing horribly. The German gave him, his first harvest crop and he lost it. Even if the German said it was okay; the Italian couldn't help, but feel bad. Germany was Italy's best friend in the whole world! And nothing could change that…why did he have to lose the potato in his fratello's house? Now the poor little potato must be so scared under his fratello's hatred for it. Ve~ _poor potato~! _The small Italian whimpered softly.

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><p>I was now fucking freaking out. The fucking potato had to be fucking hiding…waiting to attack…fuck! I ran into my bedroom and put on a fucking helmet, and took out my moustache and white flag…fuck no…I was not losing to the enemy…I kept fucking potatoes out of my house for a reason!<p>

I walked down the stairs slowly…come out, come out where ever you were…fucking potato… My house looked normal…quiet….nothing out of place…WHICH MEANT SHIT TO ME! I ducked a little away from view of any fucking potato spies….fuck could they have fucking multiplied in that short time I was in my room dammit? ! I shivered at the thought of millions of disgusting potatoes hiding in my own home. Oh, god!

I ran to check if my tomatoes were okay again. Happily the all seemed untainted by the evil potato. I bit my lip worried for my tomatoes…Fuck you! If a damn potato came into your 'fucking potato free' house and could possibly attack you or your fucking precious and delicious tomato, how the fuck would you react? ! Yeah, not that you fucking thought about it you probably fucking worried about my fucking tomatoes as well. Well, good dammit! When I find this fucking traitorous potato I'll fucking rip it apart, burn it on a stake, and then throw it in my little moron of a brother's face and laugh! Yes, fucking laugh at the potato and Veneziano pain!

I jumped when my door was opened. What the flying fuck! ? Dammit! I hid under my table, but made sure I could still see my precious tomatoes from where I was. Hell, even if I wanted to fucking protect myself…I had a fucking heart…Like hell I'd let anyone hurt my delicious tomatoes! No way in hell!

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><p>The German was surprised to find the door unlocked, but walked inside the house. The German thought everything looked normal…but it was too quiet… "Romano?" The German called. When he heard no answer he walked more inside the house. The German looked everywhere for a sign of someone came and attacked the younger Italian's brother…no blood…no strange marks…not turned over furniture…<p>

The German's eyes landed on a phone lying on the ground and slowly bend down to pick it up. The German expected it a bit. _Someone had to have throw it… _The German thought seeing all the small scratches and dents the small phone had. The German was never one to worry, but for someone to break into the older Italian's home without any real trace and most likely attacked the Italian; worried him. The German went up the stairs looking for any sign of the older Italian. Every room held the same disappointment for the German…not even a sign of the Italian or an attack on him. The German's worry for the older Italian grew more and more. _Who would even want to attack Romano?_

The German's mind processed all possible options before soon giving up. No one really enjoyed the older Italian, but no one really hated him either. The German was stumped, but before he could think about it anymore he should check the rest of the house.

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><p>I shivered…From the cold! Damn it was cold in my house dammit… I kept hearing footsteps walking…they were now coming down the stairs. Fuck…fuck…fuck…Can fucking potatoes make fucking footstep sounds…no…no…<p>

Ah! SHIT! THE DAMN POTATO IS WALKING DOWN THE STAIRS AGAIN!

" ….Okay…god….if you love me…even a little fucking bit…sent someone to save me from this damn potato…hell, I'll even promise to love the person who saves me for the rest of my fucking life…just let someone fucking catch the damn potato before it's too late! C-CHIGI!" I softly prayed over and over in my native tongue.

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><p>The German looked around the living room one more time searching for any telltale sign the older Italian was truly attacked. His eyes landed on a vase that seemed just a bit out of place. The German checked the vase over… <em>red, small, but big enough to hold maybe four flowers at most. <em>The German looked inside and was surprised to find the missing potato. The German stared at it for a moment before sighing loudly. _Now how did you get here? _

The German was about to put the Potato in his pocket, but a soft voice…like praying stopped the German's movements and he walked towards the kitchen and the whispering grew louder…more fearful…

The German slowly kneeled down to look under the table. What he saw surprised him…the older Italian softly praying like his life depended on it. Normally the German understood the Italian language, but this Italian seemed to have a Spanish dialect to it…It could possibly be its very own language…and to the German it sounded like millions of bells happily ringing in the nice cool fall wind…telling the German it was time to harvest. "Romano?"

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><p>I turned quickly to the person who called my name and grimaced. What was that Potato bastard doing… my eyes fell to the potato bastard's hand and…he had the traitorous potato?<p>

Oh, fuck…no…I looked up to the damned heavens…you really don't care about me at all, do you fuckers? I huffed upset…A…promise…was a…fucking promise…

"Are you okay?" The potato bastard asked.

I was about to yelled if I looked fine to the bastard, but that face shut me up. The bastard really looked….worried…about…me? What the hell?

"Well…it isn't safe here apparently…so…I'm heading back to Feliciano's house..do you want to come with me?"

I pouted and glared the bastard. Of course…it wasn't worry for me…just Veneziano… "I'm fine here…so fuck you…" I said turning away from the potato freak.

I was to say the least surprise when he made himself comfortable on the floor. "Then, I'll just stay here."

"Why?" I asked confused and a little grossed out.

The potato bastard just shrugged his sexy, strong shoulder…whoa! What the fuck was that? ! I meant…I…meant…Oh my fucking god…I have no fucking clue what I meant! "I don't know…I just feel it would be best if I stayed close to you in case anyone tried to attack you."

I turned red…FROM ANGER DAMMIT! And slowly…took the damned potato from his hands. The Potato bastard seemed very shocked at my movements and hell, even I was shocked by what I was going to do. I gulped, but put the lone, GROSS potato next to my precious, and FUCKING DELICIOUS tomatoes. I closed one of my eyes not believing what I was going to say, but… "I guess all bastard potatoes aren't…that fucking bad."

I couldn't look the potato bastard in the face. I said it loud enough so he could hear dammit! Fuck, I'm acting stupiud today.

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><p>The German slowly rose and walked next to the older Italian. "…Do you really mean that?" The German asked in shock.<p>

The older Italian's face heated up more and he shrugged. "Wouldn't say it if it wasn't true, fucker…" The older Italian whispered.

The German made a small awkward smile. "Well, I guess even foul mouths have a heart…"

The German was completely shocked when the older Italian took his lips into a kiss. The German was red and in a daze when the older Italian pulled away looking smug. "Tsk! Of course I fucking do! I may be fucking bad ass, but I still have a heart!"

The German watched the Italian walk away full of pride. The German's eyes moved to the lone potato in the group of tomatoes and couldn't help a small smile play his lips. _Maybe the biggest heart of them all…_


End file.
